How many positives to negate a negative

Did that person dislike me or even know me? What a jerk, how inconsiderate! I became infected with negativity; my own reaction to this incident soured my mood and negatively affected my interactions with others. However, in a matter of a few minutes, that positive feeling would have worn off. Negative interactions carry much more weight than positive experiences.

Magnify their strengths, not their weaknesses. He completed over twelve longitudinal studies and examined 3, couples, even following one couple for over 20 years. The ratio for positive to negative interactions for successful marriages was Five positive experiences were needed for every one negative experience. On the other hand, unsuccessful couples had a 0. Negative experiences simply carry greater weight than positive experiences.

The bad outweighs the good, and it takes much more effort to correct a hurt. If we are not positive with others in a ratio, then a strange boomerang effect takes place in which we then become negative with ourselves. We give away what we possess in our mood, and if we give away our own negativity, then the negative spiral of negativity take place.

The simplest way to become positive with ourselves is to be positive to others. If we are able to adopt the principle with others, then we help ourselves as well as others. The answer, as one might intuitively expect, is that both are important. But the real question is—in what proportion? Negative comments, we should point out, could go as far as sarcastic or disparaging remarks. The average ratio for the highest-performing teams was 5. The medium-performance teams averaged 1. But the average for the low-performing teams, at 0.

So, while a little negative feedback apparently goes a long way, it is an essential part of the mix. Why is that? Think of it as a whack on the side of the head. This means that for every negative interaction during conflict, a stable and happy marriage has five or more positive interactions. On the other hand, unhappy couples tend to engage in fewer positive interactions to compensate for their escalating negativity.

Examples of negative interactions include another predictor of divorce, The Four Horsemen , as well as feelings of loneliness and isolation. Negative interactions during conflict include being emotionally dismissive or critical, or becoming defensive. Body language such as eye-rolling can be a powerful negative interaction, and it is important to remember that negativity holds a great deal of emotional power, which is why it takes five positive interactions to overcome any one negative interaction.

And these negative interactions happen in healthy marriages, too, but they are quickly repaired and replaced with validation and empathy. Couples who flourish engage in conflict differently than those who eventually break up. Not only do the Masters of marriage start conflict more gently, but they also make repairs in both minor and major ways that highlight the positivity in their relationship. Below is a list of interactions that stable couples regularly use to maintain positivity and closeness.

Be Interested When your partner complains about something, do you listen? Are you curious about why he or she is so mad? Express Affection Do you hold hands with your partner, offer a romantic kiss, or embrace your partner when greeting them at the end of the day? Say your agent loses their temper during a customer interaction.

You overhear the tiff and walk over to address it. It gets to me, too! The customer is always right, and I need you to think more about your actions before you speak. Now, we have an angry customer on our hands that I have to deal with. The second response does the opposite.

Keeping the ideal ratio in mind promotes a positive coaching culture in your contact center. It means every conversation focuses on growth and improvement — even the negative ones. It gets your agents on board to do better in future interactions rather than tanking their confidence.

We originally published this post on May 29, , and we updated it for new insight on September 19, Customer Experience 10m read. Customer Experience 6m read. Skip to content Menu.